Second Rough Draft

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Independent Women

Dear Independent Women:

Sometimes women in general might think that being independent it is hard now a days for many reasons such as being by ourselves without any type of support from a male partner like moral, mental and spiritual. Sometimes our current single status affect us from being completely happy, and some cases we have carried  a child from our previous relationship. On the other hand, women's independence from male dominance has been criticized by society in the last decades. The original woman's role is based on dependency of family, men and society such being subjected to house work, raising children and living surrounded in a "protection zone". Now a days some women have  being forced to depend on a man's help when they face to hard circumstances because of their lack of opportunities to exercised their valuable rights.

The idea starts in being submissive and avoiding development of their own skills to incorporate into society. According to Aaron H. Devor " Femininity, a traditional formulation  would result and warm and continued relationships with men, a sense of maternity, interest in caring for children and the capacity to work productively and continuously in female occupation" (532).  The word of femininity give us the idea of women being able to work in certain fields for example; housewives, take care of kids and cooking. Women would get more opportunities if they have the courage to success by having the support of family members.  Mary M. Kritz and Douglas. T Gurak states that  " observe fertility levels in India remain high in a society characterized by arranged marriages, dowries, early age of marriage, social segregation of the sexes, limited  spousal communication. They add that by restricting women in physical movement, limiting their education and failing to provide them with social support for birth control use". Women's status ,Education and Family Formation in Sub- Sahara Africa.

The choice to become independent to break free from a male dominance for a long time  and the decision to get education in order to incorporate myself into society. About ten years ago, I met my first love that i would named Daniel, everything was perfect. He was a nice guy he was smart and he had everything that a woman would wanted and he also had a stable job so he made a lot of money. But I did not care about his money at all I just wanted to be independent from having children or cleaning and having a job for myself. That was a major wish that I wanted to make come true. His idea was to have a housewife, of course I wanted to please him, but i wasn't sure about having kids at the time I was so young. My dad talked to me over and over to think about if I was sure to have kids. At first he told me that it was fine if I work and go to school, but I should have kids, so I thought that it was OK. A couple months later, he changed his mind about letting me work. He decided that it would be better to stay at the house, but I could still go to school.


By the time, my dad talked to me again and of course I did not want to listen. He was warning me about him that a normal man act a different way like giving some freedom of choice but he acted differently like overpowering. His family also was included Daniel got influenced by his family. His family got desperate in him having a family and a housewife even though he wasn't the only child. They pushed him to the limit that he asked me on the phone if I would accept to marrying him because he was going to buy an engagement ring the next day. At this time had been passed a month in a half after he asked my dad if I could date him. He made the proposal on the phone and I asked him to wait a little bit more, but he said to me" take it or leave it". My heart was broken but I decided to leave it, because I got raised surrounded by " macho male dominance" and I wanted to break a dependency cycle off. Now I feel proud of myself that I do not depend on a man for anything. The only man I have depended on was my father.



Now a days many women might depend on a male figure under terrible circumstances like domestic violence. According to recent statistics, http://www.cpedv.org/Statistics "In 2008, 99 women were killed by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends in California and 14 men were killed by their wives, ex-wives or girlfriends. California law enforcement received 166,343 domestic violence calls in 2008 - 65,219 calls involved weapons, which include firearms and knives. Each call is based on information from a written incident report". The importance of being independent result in benefits for those women who made feel worthless under such terrible circumstances. For single moms  whom are already independent feel comfortable with yourselves in fact, take advantage of opportunities like experiencing being a father and a mother at the same time. It can't be easy sometimes but you will be awarded later in life from your children.


 Women  must believe in themselves to succeed under many obstacles. In occasions, is not easy to be independent, for women are always seen that they need to be protected. It is necessary to value your skills, qualities and capacity to be incorporated into our society. It is understandable that some of the women wants to live depending on a male figure and there is nothing wrong with that. Everybody has the right to choose what is convenience for ourselves, and what do we want. Just remember make yourself valuable specially in  situations where women are mistreated by not having education. Women are beautiful, fragile,intelligent and valuable. 


Thank you






Nora Heston