Second Rough Draft

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Independent Women

Dear Independent Women:

Sometimes women in general might think that being independent it is hard now a days for many reasons such as being by ourselves without any type of support from a male partner like moral, mental and spiritual. Sometimes our current single status affect us from being completely happy, and some cases we have carried  a child from our previous relationship. On the other hand, women's independence from male dominance has been criticized by society in the last decades. The original woman's role is based on dependency of family, men and society such being subjected to house work, raising children and living surrounded in a "protection zone". Now a days some women have  being forced to depend on a man's help when they face to hard circumstances because of their lack of opportunities to exercised their valuable rights.

The idea starts in being submissive and avoiding development of their own skills to incorporate into society. According to Aaron H. Devor " Femininity, a traditional formulation  would result and warm and continued relationships with men, a sense of maternity, interest in caring for children and the capacity to work productively and continuously in female occupation" (532).  The word of femininity give us the idea of women being able to work in certain fields for example; housewives, take care of kids and cooking. Women would get more opportunities if they have the courage to success by having the support of family members.  Mary M. Kritz and Douglas. T Gurak states that  " observe fertility levels in India remain high in a society characterized by arranged marriages, dowries, early age of marriage, social segregation of the sexes, limited  spousal communication. They add that by restricting women in physical movement, limiting their education and failing to provide them with social support for birth control use". Women's status ,Education and Family Formation in Sub- Sahara Africa.

The choice to become independent to break free from a male dominance for a long time  and the decision to get education in order to incorporate myself into society. About ten years ago, I met my first love that i would named Daniel, everything was perfect. He was a nice guy he was smart and he had everything that a woman would wanted and he also had a stable job so he made a lot of money. But I did not care about his money at all I just wanted to be independent from having children or cleaning and having a job for myself. That was a major wish that I wanted to make come true. His idea was to have a housewife, of course I wanted to please him, but i wasn't sure about having kids at the time I was so young. My dad talked to me over and over to think about if I was sure to have kids. At first he told me that it was fine if I work and go to school, but I should have kids, so I thought that it was OK. A couple months later, he changed his mind about letting me work. He decided that it would be better to stay at the house, but I could still go to school.


By the time, my dad talked to me again and of course I did not want to listen. He was warning me about him that a normal man act a different way like giving some freedom of choice but he acted differently like overpowering. His family also was included Daniel got influenced by his family. His family got desperate in him having a family and a housewife even though he wasn't the only child. They pushed him to the limit that he asked me on the phone if I would accept to marrying him because he was going to buy an engagement ring the next day. At this time had been passed a month in a half after he asked my dad if I could date him. He made the proposal on the phone and I asked him to wait a little bit more, but he said to me" take it or leave it". My heart was broken but I decided to leave it, because I got raised surrounded by " macho male dominance" and I wanted to break a dependency cycle off. Now I feel proud of myself that I do not depend on a man for anything. The only man I have depended on was my father.



Now a days many women might depend on a male figure under terrible circumstances like domestic violence. According to recent statistics, http://www.cpedv.org/Statistics "In 2008, 99 women were killed by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends in California and 14 men were killed by their wives, ex-wives or girlfriends. California law enforcement received 166,343 domestic violence calls in 2008 - 65,219 calls involved weapons, which include firearms and knives. Each call is based on information from a written incident report". The importance of being independent result in benefits for those women who made feel worthless under such terrible circumstances. For single moms  whom are already independent feel comfortable with yourselves in fact, take advantage of opportunities like experiencing being a father and a mother at the same time. It can't be easy sometimes but you will be awarded later in life from your children.


 Women  must believe in themselves to succeed under many obstacles. In occasions, is not easy to be independent, for women are always seen that they need to be protected. It is necessary to value your skills, qualities and capacity to be incorporated into our society. It is understandable that some of the women wants to live depending on a male figure and there is nothing wrong with that. Everybody has the right to choose what is convenience for ourselves, and what do we want. Just remember make yourself valuable specially in  situations where women are mistreated by not having education. Women are beautiful, fragile,intelligent and valuable. 


Thank you






Nora Heston

Annotated Bibliography formal paper #2

Jamaica Kincaid, " Girl". Read reading America: cultural and contexts for critical thinking and writing. Eight Edition.The New Yorker. Web.1983.

 In this lecture it refers to a woman's role that is  based on manners and a daily schedule at home in what a woman should be doing. It mentions an important message to avoid an issue relative to a reputation perhaps. And women would become a slut if they avoid following any of these rules of acting and doing. It emphasizes women's role according to decades ago, and to avoid becoming a "slut" if  certain rules are not followed. It reflects women's dependency of men or family in matter of control. It is understandable that women need protection in some circumstances and family wants to protect them like a support but it seems to be a lot of control over a  human being just because  of what people might think.

 Joan Morgan, " From Fly - Girls to Bitches and Hos". Read reading America: cultural and contexts for critical thinking and writing. Eight Edition.The New Yorker Times. Print. 1999.

 Morgan, states that African Americans use rap music  as a cover to hide sex and pain. At the same time she mention in a another quote that whenever she listens hip hop music her own brothers (African Americans) call them "bitches and hos" referring to African American women. Morgan loves hip hop music but she disagree when she found in the lyrics an offensive denigration words towards  black women. As a feminist she finds it very disappointing after having a conversation with a woman who was celebrating her thirty anniversary. Then  she told  her that she was single, so the woman felt sorry for her because she doesn't have a man. Joan makes a suggestion how women shouldn't feel less  because of not having a male partner and having a lower self-esteem because of the fact of  being a woman.

Michael Kimmel, " The guy code". Read reading America: cultural and contexts for critical thinking and writing. University of New York. Eight Edition.

In this article Kimmel, explains masculinity requires to be strong, conservative, and emotionless. He makes an interesting quote " Masculinity is a constant test always ups for grabs, always needing to be proved and the testing starts early". Kimmel  mentions society, cultures and  backgrounds  might be  the reason for men to be as are expected to be seen as strong and invincible. Psychologists  have  researched that boys tend to depress easily more that girls so in consequence men are four times disturbed that women. These consequences  might be the result of suppressing emotions. It seems like they have follow certain rules in what to share or not share emotionally. It's like a code that it is prohibited to show how you feel. Which is not surprising in this type of society. Besides what we think we might consider what is best for ourselves.

Proposal #2

Title: "Bros before Hos": The guy code.
Author: Michael Kimmel
Date: 2008
Topic: The ideology of men being a "man".
Analysis of Argument

Exigence: To face up the oppression of  the ideas of society in matter of manhood.
Intended Audience: The pros and cons of " the guy code".
Purpose: To improve everybody's judgments to develop a new set of rules.
Claim: The suppression to become a man according to the ideas of society.

Main Evidence:

   The sociologist  Michael Kimmel states that "Masculinity is a constant test always up for grabs, always needed to be proved. And the testing starts early" (615). Another statement was made by Eminem (rap singer) who repeatedly used the word "faggot" in his lyrics. During he was interviewed he said " faggot doesn't necessarily mean gay people. Faggot to me just means taking away your manhood". It exist several people with the same way of thinking. Masculinity means to be though and hide their emotions. Consequently, men are more susceptible to get depressed, get out of control and men are diagnosed as emotionally disturbed according to  Michael Thomson, Dan Kindlon (616).

Rhetorical Analysis:

Writer's Strategy 1: He made a convincing analysis proving through a study of  psychological development that boys tend to get emotionally depressed more often than girls.
Writer's Strategy 2: Cause and effect.
Writer's Strategy 3: Kimmel  also based his searching to others writers' studies.
Reader Effect # 1: Accurate information.
Reader Effect # 2: Individualized our ideas help to have an open view towards society's problems.
Reader Effect # 3: I have had a different  opinion towards  masculinity, so  it is being prove by Kimmel's article, and his professional analysis.

    Kimmel's article described a powerful analysis of  "masculinity". He showed how dangerous it is to be as society wants us to be. According to society men should not show their emotions because it means  not being a man but being gay. Michael analyzed the terrible consequences it brings just because society doesn't agree with. It is really sad when people think that way, first at all everybody has feelings, and it is impossible not to get affected by suppressing them. Secondly, our backgrounds affect us in some point in our lives, but we can change that if we want to be emotionally stable. And third, It is pretty brave to show emotions in this society, because it shows that we are humans and not a puppet that society can do wherever they want with us. I understand that not everybody will agree with this but I don't care that's my personal opinion. I just want people to be healthy and happy. It all depends of our points of views differ to one another. To be man doesn't mean to be arrogant, flashy  or tougher but it means to be easy to approach, nice and responsible. That;s a man. Taking responsibility of his own actions, that's a man. But again this is my personal response.

RA#3

Title: Girl

Author: Jamaica Kincaid

Date: 1983

Analysis Of Argument

Exigence: The lack of opportunities to develop  in society as a person and not only  as a woman. Who is capable to be productive in  the "man's world".

Intended Audience: To change the original women's role in order to create and  extent a new "women's role" to produce for society.

Purpose: To create a variety of ideas in society and equalize women's rights as men.

Claim: Women have being minimized in the last  decades for a simple fact of being women. Men have had the believe that women belong to the kitchen and they are good just to follow rules.

Main Evidence

   Jamaica Kincaid highlights women's struggles to be accepted  as part of society as men in matter of behavior and manners. According to Kincaid a woman was seeing as somebody who had to obey by following a daily schedule and behave certain way as a woman that's the way it is suppose to be. In the reading shows a dialogue between a mother and a daughter about a certain schedule that the daughter had to follow everyday. This article was published in 1983 by the New Yorker. (525). Kincaid describes  how her daily routine was by writing a schedule that she had to do so she doesn't show her feelings towards a mandatory duties and behavior that men had not to worry about. I couldn't tell if she disagree or not of what her mom's idea was towards women.

   My response to Kincaid's writing has to do a little bit based on my back ground. My grand mom and mom (R.I.P)  suffered so much because of men my dad and grandfather. My mom observed how my grandfather mistreated my grand mom beats, verbal abuse  and I observed how my dad mistreated my mom same scenario, so it affected me so much that every time I have to talk about this I hate men. Both of them did not have the right tools to face that, because my grand mom barely went to school and mom did not take the opportunity to study further high school so that did not help them out. Fortunately, My mom and grand mom thought me how to be independent by going to school, work and not depending on men and all except for my father. Fortunately,  My father supported me, so I followed what they thought me and I broke a generation of mistreatment like an unhealthy  cycle. Now, I am happily married to a wonderful man that support my ideas and he had never hit me or abuse me verbally. Women have the power to change how they want to live and who they want to live with so all depends on how much believe in ourselves. That   gave me the power to became who I am now. I am so proud of myself that I want everybody to live  the way I  live free of mistreatment and minimization. I agreed that women should behave certain way but without dictatorship or excluding man of responsibilities of the house. I would say that men and women should work together like a team, free of preferences because of gender. The best chefs are men so I don't see why women are the ones always cooking at home, so I think that men and women deserve the same treatment.