Dear Latin Women:
What does the word independent? Independent is defined as sufficient income for comfortable self -support; a competence. For a woman the word "independence" does not exist in the Latin culture,so the man becomes a representative for a woman. Aaron H. Devor states that "femininity, according to this traditional formulation would result in warm and continued relationships with men, a sense of maternity, interest in caring for children and the capacity to work productively and continuously in female occupation"(532). The original Spanish woman's role is based on dependency of family, men and society such as being subjected to house work, raising children and living surrounded in a " protection zone". In the Latin culture women traditionally get raised under the pressure of staying home taking care of their children and husband , lack of education and accepting any kind of abuse. I believe Latin women should be allowed to be independent having options to get an education, to have a job and to decide if she wants to have children or not.
Machismo seems to start at the early age and to be part of the Latin culture. The word "machismo" refers to the assumption that masculinity is superior to femininity. Men in general tend to show toughness to be respected by women and pretending it's all good, Kimmel states "masculinity is a constant test always ups for grabs, always needing to be proved. And the testing starts early"(615). Kimmel argues that masculinity has been proving by hiding a man's emotions otherwise can be perceive as gay. Latin culture does not exclude this idea at all. Male parents begin teaching their sons how a man is supposed to be. For example, parents start teaching their sons to hide their emotions although there might be a major reason, specially in public because that's not being a man. The idea of being tough and emotionless leads to the limit in a man to be tyrant towards women. Latin culture follows the idea of man being the main figure of respect and attention so the male figure must be treated as a "king". The man's job is to work to provide necessary assets for his woman and children. Men are not suppose to worry so much in to his woman's feelings or emotions. On the other hand, men expect from women to be there when they are needed. Masculinity has nothing to do with machismo, but it can lead to the idea of male dominance rejecting a chance to see women's incorporation into society. The result would be that women can't work nor go to school.
Education becomes a dilemma when one has to choose between a actual housewife or a future professional individual. About ten years ago, I met a nice guy, apparently family oriented, that I would name Daniel. Everything was perfect. He was smart and he had everything that a woman would want: money, a stable job and he was an educated man. But his appealing was something else. His personality. He was so personal and confident and I did not care about the rest. I just fell in love as a young woman I was. Of course, I wanted to have a family probably eventually but not at the time nor I wanted to stay at home and cleaning and cooking, so I did not see myself into a housewife. My major dream to pursue have been going to school, have a job out the house and have a husband who compromise and respect my wishes. Daniel's idea was to have a housewife, of course I wanted to please him because love is blind. I found out that he wanted to get engaged as soon as possible after two months of dating him. Meanwhile, we stopped seeing each other, so I would have time to think about it. At first, he promised to me that he would let me work and go to school with the possibility of having children. Meanwhile, he proposed me on the phone to get married with no flexibility at all about my academic goals. I begged him to be flexible about it, but it did not work, so I said no. That was a sad moment for me but the time had healed that pain.
I had the support of my parents and family to move forward to the future. My dad and family have been my major support in all my goals. I grew up with my parents and grandparents in a traditional and non traditional family By the time I learned that my grand mom and mom struggled to have some sort of freedom.They got abuse in every way you could think of. The non traditional part was that my grand mom had the courage to break an abusive cycle which she had gone through before. Consequently, I followed that idea and kept it. Since then, I appreciated that my family encouraged me to have choices and being independent. Likewise my dad was there during my bad decision of dating a guy with different goals, He was there to advice me and guide me to not take in a hurry decision preventing to regretted later.
In Latin culture Domestic violence becomes a normal part of life. The site of California statistics of domestic violence states that " In 2008, 99 women were killed by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends in California and 14 men were killed by their wives, ex-wives or girlfriends. The California law enforcement received 166,343 domestic violence calls in 2008- 65,219 calls involved weapons, which include firearms and knives. Each call is based on information from written incident report" (California statistics of domestic violence). The domestic violence puts down any type of self-esteem in a woman. It must be hard to break a cycle of domestic violence when one has been living in it for years. The dependency on a man becomes psychological when the woman's self-esteem gets damaged by verbal abuse. Eventually she gets used to be mistreated by her partner. In fact, she has not experienced something else besides the bad treatment on a daily basis life. The abuser takes advantage of a verbal abuse to maker believe that she is useless until it becomes a severe situation where she is the only person to help herself.
Finally, Latin women have more possibilities to choose whether or not they want an education or being a housewife. However, a Latin women's choices is limited by her culture's narrow way of thinking .Not being able to go further in life without a man's help is compared to be struck by an individual's desires. Education gives a woman an exit to develop her ideas and to be productive to others in society. Women who want to be independent and but they aren't able for certain reasons, so they must believe in themselves and break any type of family binding. It is understandable that some of the Latin women are always seen to be protected by a male partner and there is nothing wrong with that. But it is important to examine an individual opinions and have them respected by the male gender. Everybody has the right to have choices even though, he/she can be wrong but that's the beauty of being independent.
Sincerely,
Nora Heston
Annotated Bibliographies
Kincaid, J. (1983) Girl. Read reading America: cultural and contexts for critical thinking and writing. 524 (6), 524-526.
The author highlights the importance of women's behavior and manners in the family and into society. The author gave us a sample that states " try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming" It tell us a list what a woman should do. A woman's role is perceived as a prospect of a future husband if the woman is single. A woman must act as a lady and not as a "slut". And if she is married, she must represent the caretaker of the household in a general matter. For example, she must take care of children besides cleaning and cooking. Her duties must be followed as indicated. It also commented an important message to avoid an issue relative to a reputation perhaps by prohibiting certain freedom towards her decisions in matters of her own actions. The idea of being submissive represents the dependency of man and family. I understand that women must be protected by their husbands in certain level in matters of dignifying her reputation but a woman deserves the right to choose her future. If she decided someday to get marry and stay home that's totally fine so it's her decision at the end. All I am saying is a woman's decision is important for her well being.
Morgan, J. (1999) From Fly- Girls To Bitches and Hos. Read reading America: cultural and contexts for critical thinking and writing. 601(5), 601-607.
The author states that women in general are being minimized in the music business. African Americans use rap music as a cover to hide sex and pain. At the same time she mention in a another quote that whenever she listens hip hop music her own brothers (African Americans) call them "bitches and hos" referring to African American women. Morgan loves hip hop music but she disagree when she found in the lyrics an offensive denigration words towards black women. As a feminist she finds it very disappointing after having a conversation with a woman who was celebrating her thirty anniversary. Then she told her that she was single, so the woman felt sorry for her because she doesn't have a man. Joan makes a suggestion how women shouldn't feel less because of not having a male partner and having a lower self-esteem because of the fact of being a woman. In the same way Latin women are being minimized by male dominance for not being able to choose what they want to be.
